I have a confession:

In July, I had my first audition in 8 years.

I had a callback in January.

I did not get cast.

How can the loss of something you never had be so devastating?

I’ve been thinking about my beginnings in Musical Theater and my ten year old self a great deal recently. Even from the very beginning, I was fearless on stage, which is strange because I was, and in many ways still am, a very shy and fearful person. There were nerves to audition, certainly, but for some reason I wasn’t nervous on stage, not while singing.  There was something about performing, creating a character, inhabiting an imaginary world, that helped me transcend my fears and find only joy in the experience.

The signs had actually been everywhere that I would eventually find my way back to Musical Theater, I had just ignored them.